


Family Ties

by BlackDiamond



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Family Drama, Holidaying in the Lake District, fem!Kili
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-29
Updated: 2015-01-03
Packaged: 2018-03-04 03:47:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2908199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackDiamond/pseuds/BlackDiamond
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kili has her life together. So what if she works too much and avoids dating like the plague? She's happy, healthy and has the cutest apartment set up to perfection. </p>
<p>So when best friend Ori asks her to pose as his cousins girlfriend for the annual Durin family reunion, she must have had a lapse in brainpower because for some reason, she agrees!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Coerced into a Terrible Plan

Kili leaned back into the plush armchair of her favourite cafe, savouring the sweet coffee as it slid down her throat. Allowing herself a minute to get composed before Ori was due to arrive, Kili though back to their conversation. 

Ori had seemed odd, asking to meet at their regular cafe today at 11am, which wasn’t unusual for them on a Sunday morning. But then Ori had stuttered something about having a favour to ask, and the hurriedly said he’d explain when they met up and promptly hung up the phone.

Kili wondered vaguely if Ori had finally asked out the woman he’d been pining after for the last few months. ‘Heh, not likely. I wonder what he was on about..'

“Kili! H-hi.” Kili looked up sharply to see her best friend, Ori Baden, giving her a nervous look and twisting the hem of his light knit cardigan. Ori seemed to take a huge breath and try to muster some kind of courage before plomping down into the opposite plush armchair. 

“Hey Ori, are you okay? You look a bit green…” Kili wearily eyed her friend’s complexion, quickly calculating the odds of her getting splashed should Ori decide to loose his breakfast. ‘Ew, wouldn’t be the first time that’s happened,’ Kili though with a grimace.

“Oh, me, no I’m feeling fine. I just, ah, got off the phone with my cousin this morning..” Ori looked down at the mobile he’d placed on the table as if it were giving him great offence. “And yeah I caught up a bit with Fili, you remember him?"

“Um, yeah I think so.” Kili racked her brain for a second, mentally going through some of the stories Ori had regaled about his childhood. Compared to Kili, Ori’s family was big, like huge. Kili sometimes had a hard time wrapping her head around what having a family that big would be like.

“Fili is Dis’ son, the one that’s a civil engineer now for the family business.” Comprehension dawned on Kili’s face as she vaguely recalled hearing that information a few years back. 

“Ah yes, I remember know. So why has your chat with Fili got you so wound up Ori?” 

“Okay, I’m going to tell you, and please, just hear me out.” Ori’s look was one of absolute pleading now and Kili shifted uncomfortably in her seat, ‘what on earth could Ori’s cousin have said that has Ori so… weird!'

“Ahhh, yeah okay Ori, I’ll try not to interrupt."

“Well, so I was catching up with Fili, and we got on to the annual family reunion that’s on next month.” Ori glanced up to see Kili nodding along and continued. “Anyway so Fili was a bit distraught about Dis and his grandfather and heaps of other family members constantly nagging him about his lack of a love life and telling him how he needs to settle down and have kids and blah, blah, you get the picture?” Again Kili dutifully nodded along, encouraging Ori to continue.

“So, eventually, Fili snapped. He, ah, h-he blurted out to his mother that actually he has a girlfriend, and they’ve been together for the last 6 months. He said he kept it quiet because his family is so nosy and he didn’t want anything to scare her off.” Ori gestured wildly, running his hands through his hair and turning his pleading eyes onto Kili again.

“Um, well, that’s cool?” And then Ori, Kili’s sweet, gentle best friend, exploded.

“No that’s not cool! Because then Fili, as the idiot he is, somehow ended up being coerced into promising to bring his girlfriend to the reunion! And do you why that’s a problem? Do you?” Ori continued before Kili even had a chance to blink, “Because she doesn’t exist! So now Fili either has a bring a girlfriend that doesn’t exist to our family reunion next month, or face the wrath of Dis! Do you have any idea how scary Dis can be? Very Scary!” Ori drew in a breath finally and slumped back into his chair. 

“Wow, Ori, you need to calm down or you’re going to hyperventilate.” Ori looked back up then with a wild look in his eye, slightly unnerving his friend.

“But I haven’t even gotten to the worst bit yet! So then Fili started rambling about how he needs to find someone to pretend to be his girlfriend for a week, but that he couldn’t think of anyone who’d do it. So I helpfully suggested.. um, that I had a good friend who’s single and might be interested in.. um, helping?"

Kili slowly shook her head as Ori’s rambling story finally started to come together. “No, Ori, please tell me you’re not talking about me."

“Well, ah, yes? I didn’t mean it! I just suggested it to add something to the conversation, but then he jumped on the idea and pleaded with me to ask you to do it! What could I say? He can be very persuasive.” Ori looked carefully into his friend’s face, trying to read her expression. So far all he got was complete incredulity.

“Ori! I don’t know what you want me to say! Of course I’m not going to agree to this. I mean, come on. I’m not going to pretend to be your cousin’s girlfriend for a whole week just to save him from some pesky family members!” 

“Please Kili! Just think, you’d get to meet all my family at once, finally take a break from your job that you work far too hard in, and to top it off you get to have a pseudo-hot-boyfriend for a week with no strings attached!"

“You think of your own cousin as hot?” Kili deadpanned.

“Just because he’s my cousin doesn’t mean I’m blind! What?” Kili cracked a smile, momentarily forgetting what they were talking about. “Plus, you know what I said about your work is true. You’ve hardly taken any time off in the 4 years you’ve been working there."

“Well, my clients are important to me, some of them just couldn’t handle me taking a week off right now."

“That may well be true, but you’ve been saying that for the last 4 years now Kili. And at the rate you’re going it’s never going to change. I know you care deeply for your clients, but you need to take some time out for you. I mean, when was the last time you took a day off and pampered yourself?"

“I hardly think spending a week with your nosy family, pretending to be someone’s girlfriend is considered pampering myself."

“Heh, true, but you didn’t answer the question.” Kili looked into her near empty coffee mug, suddenly very interested in the liquid swirling around. Was Ori right? Did she work too hard? It’s true she often took on a maximum client load during her working hours as she was a popular clinical psychologist and didn’t like to have people waiting too long to see her. The downfall of that being that she often then took her case notes home to write up properly, then reflect on what the client discussed with her and refined the treatment plan she would take for them. ‘Hm, perhaps I could cut back a little, if Ori seems to think it’s so important.’ 

“Well, Ori, I concede that I could perhaps work a little less, you’re right. But still, falsely going to your family reunion? I don’t think so. It’s not exactly the relaxing holiday I could do with."

“Did I mention it’s in Windermere? As in, the Lake District, arguably one of the nicest, most beautiful places in this fine country… And, before you say anything about pesky tourists, we will be staying at the secluded and luxurious Durin Manor, built in the early 17th century on its own piece of private lake..."

“Wow, you’re nearly selling it Ori. There is this one issue that you’re forgetting though."

“What?"

“Fili. I haven’t even met the guy! Couldn’t I just come to this magical wonderland as your best friend?"

“Well, I guess you could. But then poor old Fili will be crushed, doomed to a life of mass amounts of angry Dis and cold glares. Plus you wouldn’t get the relaxing break you’re imagining because you’ll be explaining to everyone, repeatedly, that no, you and I are not dating we’re just best friends. To which no one will believe you and so the cycle will repeat itself. I really do love you my dear, but I can’t handle having my entire family insinuating that my best friend is my girlfriend. Eh, that’s just weird. It’d be like dating my sister."

“You don’t have a sister. But yes, I can see what you mean."

“So you’ll do it then?!"

“Whoa what? No, I’ll think about it.” Kili already knew her answer though. There’s no way she could say no to Ori when he looked at her with those PUPPY DOG EYES! And somehow Ori knew it too.

“Yay! You’re the best Kili! Ok, we have lots to plan. I’ll fill you in on all the family members, and we have to arrange for you and Fili to chat before you get there so you can figure out your back story. Oh and don’t forget to fill in your annual leave form for work. The trip is next month so you have about 3 weeks to get organised. Oh this is going to be the best reunion ever!"

And so it was that Kili found herself coerced into a terribly, horrible plan.


	2. Phone Calls and Freak Outs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading and the support guys!
> 
> For those of you looking for a visual of female Kili, google Ashley Greene! This is what I'm imagining, I think they share similar features but more girly obviously, plus she's gorgeous!
> 
> Enjoy x

Kili eyed the phone sitting innocuously on the bedside table for what felt like the fifteenth time.

‘This is ridiculous!’ And just as she was stomping out the room to go downstairs the blasted thing rang. Loudly.

“Ah, h-ah-hum-hello?” ‘Smooth opening’ Kili berated herself.

“Hello, this is Fili Durin, Ori’s cousin. Is this Kili?” Kili paused and took in a quiet breath, composing herself and willing away the surprising bout of nerves that had suddenly decided to show up.

“Hi, yes this is Kili."

“Oh good! Look I just want to say lest I forget later, thank you so much for agreeing to this. I couldn’t believe it when Ori told me you’d said yes, you’re really a life saver!” Kili didn’t really know what to say to that. ‘Oh no worries I do it all the time’ hardly seemed right.

“Um… you’re welcome? Sorry, I just don’t really know what to say to be honest."

“Haha, oh I guess I don’t expect you to. This doesn’t exactly happen everyday.” Kili suddenly found herself wishing there was a manual on ‘How to Pretend to be in a Long-Term Committed Relationship with your Best Friend’s Cousin at an Annual Family Reunion - for Dummies.’ Yeah maybe that was a long-shot, but seriously, Kili liked to be prepared.

“So um, Ori said you wanted to call to work out our back story?"

“Yeah, so what I’ve thought of so far is: we’ve been together for about 6 months now and we met at a night out in London through Ori. Um, that’s all I got so far.” Kili was struck by the easy-going confidence of this guy. Wasn’t he just a little bit worried about introducing a complete stranger to his entire family, pretending they’d been in a steady, loving relationship for the last 6 months? What if he didn’t even find her remotely attractive? Or was repulsed by her hair? Not that she expected him to be, but some people are weird like that. 

“Kili, You there?"

“Oh yes sorry, just lost in thought. Well, that’s a good start. Perhaps we should work out how we started dating etc.?”

So for the next hour they discussed how Fili supposedly worked up the courage to ask for her number the night they met, and then asked Kili out for coffee the next day and they’ve been dating ever since. They discussed when their birthdays are, work, hobbies and family. It turned out that Fili is an Architect at the family firm, Durin and Co. He works with his uncles Thorin and Frerin, although doesn’t often see them as it’s a large firm, with Thorin being CEO and Frerin some kind of designer. Fili told her bits about his family too, his mother really did sound pretty scary.

Kili gave some vague details about her own family, not feeling comfortable going into it too much. She is an only child whose parents had passed away many years ago. She explained moving in with a family friend and that Bilbo and his nephew Frodo were all she really had and considered them to be family. They were an odd trio but it suited her fine. Fili sounded like he wanted to ask more on the topic but Kili quickly diverted to talk about her work, making it clear the matter was closed.

Kili described meeting Ori in their first year of psychology and how they stayed good friends after Ori transferred to study speech pathology. After completing her masters Kili found work at different clinics, ending up at the private clinic in Nottingham she’d been at for the last few years.

They ended the call not long after, Fili promising to get in contact sooner to the reunion to work out transport and anything last minute.

‘Well, that wasn’t so bad.’ Kili flopped backwards onto her bed, phone bouncing somewhere onto the plush bedroom carpet.

Fili seemed pretty normal, if you exclude his fairly large fear of the wrath of certain family members.

‘Heh, if Dis is intimidating on an average day, imagine if she found out about her son’s farce of a girlfriend…’ Kili shot up. “What have I done?!” Air suddenly seemed non-existent as a flood of cringe-worthy circumstances barraged into her quite imaginative brain. ‘What if Fili’s family found out? They’d kick her out, or possible worse. What if they attacked her in her sleep?? Okay, whoa this is getting out of hand. This was Ori’s family too,’ she reminded herself. ‘Therefore not entirely a pack of strangers, hence the likelihood of horrible violence is significantly lowered.’ 

The shrill ringing of her phone snapped Kili back to the real world, where the mysterious Fili is not going to lead her to impending doom. Gosh, when did she become so dramatic. “My life must be too boring.” Kili muttered. 

Reaching over the bed Kili located the dropped phone and visibly calmed upon seeing the caller ID. 

“Bilbo! You’ve never had better timing than the present.” Kili sighed down the phone.

“Why thank you dear. But, is everything alright, you seem flustered?” Her uncle Bilbo had always been remarkably perceptive, although in this instance it wouldn’t take a genius to note that something was amiss.

“Well, no, not really. I think I may have agreed to something incredibly stupid and now I may be panicking that this decision will send me to an early grave, probably a ditch somewhere or maybe Lake Windermere."

“What on earth are you talking about Kili? Are you in some kind of trouble?” Kili heard Bilbo’s tone change to that of protective-uncle-mode, one that was always was sure to make an appearance if there was ever any threat to herself or Frodo. 

“Um, no? Yes? I’m not sure.” And from there Kili spilled everything to her trusty uncle Bilbo, her pillar and rock. 

“Well my dear, you sure know how to make an old man age faster, I thought you were in real trouble for a minute there.” Bilbo sighed indulgently down the phone and Kili felt herself relax, if only a little.

“So you think I’m over-reacting?"

“Yes that may be an understatement Kili dear. This is Ori’s family you’re talking about. And if this Dis lady is really as fierce as she sounds I’m sure her wrath will be directed at her deceiving son, not the poor girl he roped in to do his dirty work."

As usual, Bilbo’s words served to put her at ease. “Now, how about you get your silly self over here and have dinner with us? I’ve made apricot chicken…"

“Haha, I’ll be right over!"

 

 

The next 3 weeks flew by, filled mostly by work. Kili had her leave approved by HR and was busy trying to fit in all her patients that would have had appointments during her week off. 

“Miss Oaks, so it’s true that you’re leaving us for a week? My, that is unexpected, you will be sorely missed.” Kill tensed at the smooth tones of the one dampener to her dream job. She turned, to face the tall, handsome figure of the clinic’s psychiatrist.

“Thank you Mr Smaug, but a week is hardly a long time."

“All the same, your absence will not go unnoticed.” The intense stare he directed straight into her eyes seemed to penetrate right through her, stripping back any walls Kili may have tried to erect against him.

“I was not aware you took such notice Mr Smaug.” Kili said slowly, calculating where he was going with this. It had moved past a general ‘have a nice holiday’ comment. 

Smaug’s expression seemed to morph into something disturbing, despite his good looks. 

“Then you are mistaken Miss Oaks, I take a very keen interest. And where are you off to during this surprising week away?"

Later, when Kili would replay this conversation over in her head, she would blame the inordinate levels of Smaug’s creepiness and and her desire to be out of his presence as quickly as possible. The office tea room suddenly feeling too cramped and devoid of any other people… Witnesses?

“Actually I’m going away with my boyfriend. He’s been planning it for a while, so I’m excited to get away for a bit.” ‘Get away from you!’ Her brain screamed at her.

Smaug’s express became ugly for the briefest of moments before schooling it back to that of pained indifference that Kili wasn’t sure if she imagined it. 

“How lovely. Well Miss Oaks, I wish you all the best for your holiday.” And with that he swept out of the small kitchenette, leaving a slightly stunned and confused Kili.

 

 

The next morning Kili had well and truly put Smaug out of her mind as she stood sipping a herbal tea in her kitchen. Any minute now Fili would arrive, she didn’t think she could stomach anything more than a green tea at this moment.

Kili did a mental inventory for the fifth time that morning, assessing everything in her medium trolley case and handbag. Fili had said the Lake District could get cold, even though it was only September, so she’d packed her coat and boots. Kili had a selection of her normal clothes, but also put a few nicer dresses and shoes in, not knowing what to expect from this wealthy family. Ori and Fili had both said to just go in whatever she was comfortable with, but she knew for a fact that she'd be extremely uncomfortable if she was underdressed. 

The sound of the door bell snapped Kili out of over-analysing her wardrobe choice. ‘Too late to change anything now,’ she sighed.

Walking to the door Kili paused, taking in a deep breathe, trying in vain to steady her franticly beating heart. 

“You can do this. You are a strong, successful woman.” She whispered to herself. ‘Great, and now I’m pep-talking myself…' 

Opening the door, Kili steeled herself. She gasped. There, standing behind a bouquet of red roses was the most beautiful man she had ever seen.

“Hello, I’m Fili Durin.” Kili tentatively took the offered hand, blinded temporarily by the most glorious dimples she’d ever seen on a grown man. His smile faltered briefly and she realised she had yet to say anything, let alone the expression she must have been pulling.

Promptly closing her treacherous mouth, Kili gulped as imperceptibly as possible. “Kili Oaks, it’s a pleasure to meet you."

His smile returned full force. “The pleasure is all mine, I assure you."


End file.
